She was the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen. I think I loved her. I think, anyway; I don’t actually know because I haven’t actually loved anyone before. Except my mom… I think? That didn’t matter right now. All that mattered was Jenna… and her boyfriend, Brad. I didn’t even know why he was here in the sculpture workshop – he didn’t like art, sculpture, cosplay, or anything that wasn’t football or Jenna. Brad and Jenna were some of the oldest seniors in the school; both had turned nineteen over the summer. Jenna’s birthday was June 7th and Brad’s was August 2nd. Still, I was older at twenty due to being held back. Twice.

​

Jenna’s platinum blonde hair shimmered under the intense lighting of the sculpture room. She looked like a lioness basking in the sun.

 

Brad caught me in his jagged gaze, “What are you looking at, Alex?”

 

I blinked before averting eye contact, “N-nothing,” I stammered, “And it’s Alexander. Not Alex.”

 

“Whatever weirdo.”

 

“Brad!” Jenna whined as she nudged him, “Be nice to him! You know Alexander is… special. And such a sweetheart!”

 

She beamed at me from across the workbench, but it didn’t seem like she actually saw me. Instead, it always felt like she was looking through me, and a part of me despised her for that. Still, her apple-green eyes were gorgeous enough to seduce eye contact from me, even though it tended to make me uncomfortable with others. She really was pretty… and super nice!

 

“Whatever,” Brad groaned, “I still don’t get why he’s making a creepy peacock suit.”

 

“It’s not a peacock suit,” I calmly insisted, “It’s a Sonic cosplay.”

 

“Right,” Brad rolled his eyes, “Babe, I think I’m going to go wait in the car. You won’t be too much longer, right?”

 

“No,” Jenna sighed, “Probably about fifteen more minutes.”

 

Brad made an obvious effort to look me in the eye as he kissed Jenna’s forehead.

 

Six and a half minutes after Brad left, Jenna looked up from her sculpture project.

 

“So why do you like cosplaying so much, Alexander? Haven’t you won a lot of cosplay competitions?”

 

“Yeah, I have 37 first-place medals,” I shrugged, “but I don’t care about winning. I just like making the most convincing costumes possible. Some take me months. The winning just kind of happens I guess.”

 

“That’s so cool, buddy!” Jenna’s cheekbones rose unnaturally high as she beamed at me, “But you never actually told me why you like cosplaying.”

 

“I’ve never really thought about it. I guess… It’s nice to feel like someone else, someone beloved by a lot of people for a change.” I glanced down at my current project. “Like Sonic.”

 

“Aww,” Jenna cooed as she leaned across the workbench to wrap me in her arms.

 

I didn’t quite understand why she was doing this, but I wasn’t going to complain. Jenna smelled nice, like a mix between the industrial glue I sometimes used for cosplays and cinnamon sugar. 

Jenna finally released me from her grasp and scooted back to her spot on the shop’s workbench.

 

“Well,” Jenna grabbed the strap of her backpack, “I should probably get going. See you later, okay Alexander?”

 

“Okay.”

 

She sauntered towards the exit of the room, hips swaying under the harsh light.

 

“Jenna?” She looked back over her shoulder at me before leaving.

 

“Yes, Alexander?”

 

“Thanks.”

 

“For what?”

 

“I’m pretty sure Brad was being mean to me.”

“Oh,” Jenna frowned, “You’re welcome, but I’m sure he didn’t mean it. He’s just…”

​

“Not nice?”

 

“No, it’s not that. He’s just a little rough around the edges. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

 

“Okay.”

 

Jenna stopped before opening the door. She paused, seemingly frozen by indecision. Without looking back at me she said, “Hey do you have any plans for Friday?”

 

“Nope.” 

 

“My parents are out of town, and I’m having a little get together with some friends from the Cheer squad at my place. You should totally come if you want!” 

 

“But… I don’t know where you live.”

 

“Don’t worry,” Jenna giggled, “I’ll send you my address.” 

 

“Okay.” 

 

The week flew by as I worked on my cosplay and thought about Jenna. She had never invited me to hang out with her outside of school before. The only time we texted was when she needed help with physics homework. This was a big step in our relationship. Maybe –just maybe– she liked me like I liked her. 

 

I stopped to buy some flowers on the way over to her house because Google told me that’s what girls liked. I bought a pricey multicolored boutique of gorgeous flowers; I wanted Jenna to know I was serious. I was way nicer than Brad, so she would probably be happier and better off with a nice guy like me anyway. I just needed to get her to see that. 

 

I inevitably arrived at her doorstep, flowers in hand. My throat felt bloated with air, like a ribbiting toad. I burped the air out before ringing the doorbell. I heard girlish laughter and the shuffling of feet before the door opened to reveal Jenna. Her shiny hair now had waves in it, and her cheeks glimmered with golden sparkles and makeup. She looked like a goddess. 

 

“Oh my gosh!” Jenna beamed, “You came!” 

 

“Yeah,” I glanced down at my flowers, trying to summon any misplaced courage I could scavenge. 

 

“Aww,” Jenna followed my gaze, “Are those for me? That’s so adorable! Girls! Get out here and see what Alexander brought!” 

 

Before I could explain my true intentions, I was surrounded by a pack of beautiful girls beaming at me and cooing over me. 

 

I barely deciphered phrases like “That’s so cute” and “He’s so sweet!” between the gaggle’s gushing condescensions. 

 

“Y-yeah,” I stuttered before thrusting the flowers over to Jenna. A part of me enjoyed the attention, but another, more primal part of me hoped that the group’s ravenous attention would follow the flowers away from me. 

 

The actual party itself was anticlimactic; the girls painted each other’s nails and mostly talked amongst themselves about boys, strained relationships, and fraught love lives. It was depressingly stereotypical and surprisingly boring. I was so bored that I jumped at the opportunity when Jenna offered to paint my nails for me because ‘it would be so cute!’ 

 

I was similarly relieved when Max, Jenna’s large husky, entered the room. The girls’ conversation turned from the dull drone of high school relationship drama to a symphony of admiration for the well-groomed dog. Max’s tail wagged as he sauntered over to the group of girls. He flopped down onto the floor, rolled over, and gazed up at the girls expectantly. 

 

“He just wants belly rubs,” Jenna explained. 

 

“That’s so cute!” 

 

“He’s so sweet,” another girl commented as she reached down to give the dog belly rubs. 

The conversation drifted back to gossip, and I –once again– felt like a mere passenger in this discourse, totally robbed of any agency, investment, or interest. Luckily, Max grew tired of belly rubs and decided to make a scene. 

 

Catering solely to his animalistic instincts, Max trotted over towards Jenna, who was sitting across the room on a recliner. He then hugged her calf with his front paws and began to pant as his body moved back and forth. It was utterly uncomfortable and somewhat gross, but I couldn’t peel my vision away. 

 

“Max!” Jenna bopped him on his head, “Stop it! That’s gross!” 

 

After being hit on the head a couple times, Max walked out of the room. The girls’ conversation picked up again as if nothing had happened. 

 

“I gotta go to the bathroom!” I exclaimed. Everyone paused to stare at me. It was the first thing I had said in twenty-three minutes. 

 

“Sure,” Jenna gestured to the door of the media room, “it’s down the hall, to the right.” 

 

Before continuing to the bathroom, I found Max lying down, bored, on his doggy bed. I reached down to pet his head. He responded with apathy, eyes not even curious enough to drift up to me. I examined the gold tag dangling from his collar. It had a phone number on it along with his name. I unclipped the collar and took it with me to the bathroom.  

 

I let out a heavy sigh before looking at myself in the mirror. Was I really about to do this? I lifted the collar up to my neck and clipped it. All the anxiety and tension I felt dissipated with the snap of the collar clip around my neck. It just felt… right. I stared at myself in the mirror, wearing Max’s dog collar. The collar was loose around my neck; Max was a large dog, and I was a relatively small human. 

 

I had an idea. 

 

I took the collar off and stuck it into my oversized sweatpants pocket. I then found some chips in the pantry, which was something Jenna wouldn’t notice missing. I waved a chip under Max’s nose, which eviscerated his apathy. I lured him to my car with the alluring aroma of the chips. I gave him the whole bag once inside my back seat. 

 

I quietly returned to the house. Jenna had an expansive backyard. I opened the sliding glass door and surveyed the fence. Being so into cosplay has given me an eye for detail. Within thirty-six seconds, I had found what I was looking for: a loose wooden plank in the fencing. It was already warped, but I was surprised at how pliant the board was; it must’ve been much older than it looked. I bent the plank just enough to create an obvious, dog-sized opening. After the work was done, I walked back into the house and neglected to close the sliding door all the way. It was really so sad how Max had run away. Now it was my turn. 

 

I walked back to the media room where the gathering was transpiring. Before opening the door, I heard that they were still talking about boys, but –this time– they were talking about a specific boy: me. I decided to listen in from the other side of the door. 

 

“Jenna, you really are so nice.” 

 

“Yeah,” another bubbly voice concurred, “I don’t think he gets out too much.” 

 

“Most people at school think he’s a weirdo; I think you actually might be his only friend.”

 

“But Alex is such a sweetheart!” Jenna responded. 

 

“You really are an angel, Jenna.” 

 

“Aww,” I could somehow hear Jenna blush, “Thank you!” 

 

I opened the door. 

 

“Alexander!” Jenna acknowledged me with subtle panic, “Are you okay? You were in there for a while…” 

 

“Actually,” I clutched my stomach, “I’m not feeling good. I think I’m going to go home.” 

 

“Oh, I’m sorry, buddy. I hope you feel better!” 

 

“Thanks.” 

 

I didn’t sleep for the rest of the weekend. This wasn’t the first time I’d felt the electrifying rush of fixation, but this was different. This time, I would be able to escape the turmoils of my own life for longer than a convention lasted. This time, things would be different. I had to make sure I got this right.

 

It was painful, but I reminded myself of what was at stake, so it was worth it. I wore Max’s collar as I worked. I started by designing a mask with a snout. I worked all night long to make it convincing. I felt unbridled pride and joy at the result; it looked almost exactly like Max’s face. 

 

I worked in my basement, unaware of the time of day, or even what day it was. My phone buzzed. It was Jenna; she was asking if I knew anything about Max. Apparently, Max had run away after her little get-together. Jenna’s parents would be home by Thursday, and she admitted to being panicked. 

 

This was perfect. People tended to accept constructed realities more easily if they were in line with what they desired. 

 

No, I texted, and I probably won’t be able to help look for him. My family moved out of state over the weekend. Sorry… I didn’t know how to tell you at the party.

 

OMG, Jenna texted back, Make sure to stay in touch, k? 

 

Okay. 

 

That was surprisingly easy. I had half-heartedly hoped that Jenna would make a bigger fuss over my surprise absence.

 

I had spent days on the project, and it was coming together nicely. No offense to Jenna, but I doubt she had the eye for detail necessary to discern my disguise from the countenance of her actual dog. Over the time I kept Max in my basement, he would bark and howl every now and again. Instead of disciplining the dog, I made sure to record every sound he made, every bark, every pant, and every whine. I then stitched a simple audio device with Max’s various barks and whinnies into the throat of my disguise. I was close to perfection; I could feel it. 

 

Still, there was one last step in completing metamorphosis; I shaved Max’s fur and made sure to collect all of it. First, I sewed his fur into the parts of my disguise that covered my skin. Next, I stripped and began to sew Max’s fur into my own skin that the disguise wouldn’t hide. It was painful, excruciating even, but the results would be more than worth it. 

 

I wore the disguise –colored contacts and all– and looked at myself in the mirror. This was my magnum opus. A hairless Max growled at me in trepidatious recognition of another animal. I was ready. 

 

I unleashed the hairless and unrecognizable dog into the wild. I hope he had a good life, because I was about to take his old one. I drove to Jenna’s house but made sure to park my car a few blocks away. I left the keys in the ignition; it was the last time I’d need to drive anyway. 

 

I began my crawl across the neighborhood to Jenna. It was a mostly uneventful day in suburbia. There was no one out beside the occasional hum of a passing car. I noticed a flier with a picture of Max nailed to a splintered telephone pole. It had a phone number and address on it, which I recognized. It was Jenna’s address, the only address other than my own I had bothered to memorize. 

 

I continued to Jenna’s backyard. I managed to make it to Jenna’s fence without detection. Next, I squeezed myself through the Max (and myself) sized hole in the fence that I’d left myself a few days before. I saw Jenna through the sliding glass door; she sat on the couch, phone glued to the side of her face, talking to someone. 

 

I would’ve been anxious if I didn’t have total trust in my craftsmanship. I used the device on my throat to release one of Max’s barks. Jenna turned to meet my gaze through the glass. I watched her face as it danced through shock, recognition, and –finally– unbridled joy and relief. Jenna’s phone bounced on the cushions as she abandoned it to rush over to the door. 

 

“Maxie!” She patted her thighs in a summoning gesture, “I missed you so much!” 

 

I rushed over to her as fast as I could on all fours. She kneeled down to wrap me in an embrace. She smelled as great as she did the last time I saw her. I began to pant, mimicking a dog as she pet me. I could feel the radiant intention of Jenna’s gentle fingertips even through the fur of my disguise. I pressed my face against hers and began to sloppily lick her cheeks, covering as much surface area as I could with my saliva. 

 

“Aww,” Jenna cooed, “I’m glad to see you missed me too!” 

 

I was home. 

 

The next few days were a slurry of new experiences. Dog food didn’t taste amazing, but I grew to appreciate the consistency of it, just as I grew to appreciate the consistency of my newfound day-to-day life. I even discovered comfort and security within the confines of my dog cage; I had a strict, defined role that freed me from the everyday woes of attempting to fit into a society that didn’t care for or about me. And, of course, my new role allowed me some intimacy that I had only ever dreamed of before. 

 

This morning, like last morning and the morning before, Jenna–hair wet and eyes filled with sleep– came to let me out of my cage for the day. She opened the door to let me out and scratched me behind my floppy ear. I pressed my face into her groin and took in her smell. It was my scent, a scent only I got the pleasure of experiencing – Jenna halfway through her morning routine, a delicious culmination of lingering body odor and soapy product. 

 

“Max!” Jenna gently chided, “That’s rude!” 

 

I looked up at her behind innocent eyes. She regarded me with a soft smile. I flopped onto my back and held my limbs above me. I allowed my tongue to roll out of my mouth in anticipation. 

 

“Oh, I know what you want,” Jenna giggled, “Who wants belly rubs? You do! Yes, you do!” 

 

She reached down to cater to my implicit request. I felt her touch on my old, human skin, under the dog hair sewed into it. Jenna felt… euphoric. I yipped happily. I was her pet. I was hers. 

 

“Ok Maxie,” Jenna stood to her full height, “I gotta go to school. I’ll make sure to give you all the belly rubs later.” 

 

I almost felt bad for Jenna; school was another aspect of my old life that I was more than happy to jettison. Then again, school always seemed to be significantly less daunting to Jenna; she was popular, smart, athletic, and charismatic. It was still a mystery as to why she ever befriended me in the first place. 

 

The rest of the day passed slowly. I played with my doggy toys, but that only delivered a finite amount of entertainment value. I tracked the time until Jenna got home by watching the sun crawl across the sky. Luckily, Jenna should be home sometime soon. I used to be so particular about the exactness of measuring time, but it just didn’t matter anymore. Why would a pet need to measure time? 

 

I inevitably heard Jenna’s keys jingle in the front door. I skidded across the hardwood of the living room as fast as I could. She had cheer practice today. The tastes and smells after she got back from cheer practice were some of the best parts of my new life. I yipped happily as I rushed to the door. 

 

The door opened to reveal Jenna in all her sweaty, glistening glory… and her boyfriend, Brad. 

 

“Still,” Jenna didn’t pause her conversation while petting me, “I thought he’d text me more. I know a new school can be tough, especially for someone like him, but…” 

 

“It’s weird you were so obsessed with him in the first place,” Brad held his hand out in front of my snout, expecting me to meet his greeting gesture with a sniff, but I only wanted to sniff Jenna. 

 

“What do you mean by that!?”

 

“I’m just saying,” Brad continued to hold his hand out, “maybe he got some real friends that didn’t just keep him as a pet to show off how caring, compassionate, and amazing they were to the rest of the school.” 

 

“Oh my god Brad,” Jenna scoffed, “Are you really this jealous of Alex of all people?” 

 

“Jealous of that weirdo? Are you kidding me?” 

 

I couldn’t stand it anymore. What did Brad know about Jenna? What did Brad know about my relationship with her? I unhinged my jaw to fit Brad’s hand in my mouth, and I bit down as hard as I could. I made sure to leave a mark. I hoped the bite got infected and Brad died. 

 

“OW!!” Brad exclaimed.

 

“Max!” Jenna grabbed me by my collar, “Bad boy!” 

 

She yanked me towards my dog cage and threw me in before closing the gate behind me. 

 

“What’s wrong with him!?” 

 

“Maybe he just doesn’t like jealous assholes,” Jenna shot. 

 

“Whatever.” Brad regarded my bite. “I think you might need to take him to the vet.” 

 

“What? Why?” 

 

“Look at these bite marks.” Brad held his injured hand out to her. “They’re weird, right? Almost like his teeth are too blunt. Almost like a human’s…”

 

“That is weird,” Jenna conceded. 

 

Shit. I needed a distraction, but my options were severely limited by my confinement. Just as I thought my life was coming to an end, the doorbell rang. Jenna glanced toward the door before walking over. I had never been this lucky in my entire life. 

 

As the door creaked open on its hinges, all my relief left me; the person standing at the door was my mother. Shit. 

 

“Hi, sorry to bother you. You must be Jenna.” 

 

“Yes, ma'am that’s right.” 

 

“Oh, Alex told me so much about you! Thank you for being friends with my son.” 

 

“Wait, you’re Alex’s mom?” 

 

“That’s right.” 

 

“But...” Jenna hesitated, looking at her shoes. “Alex told me that he and his family were moving out of state.” 

 

“That’s the first I’ve heard of those plans.” My mother started to tear up. “I was wondering if you’ve seen him? He’s been missing for a few days now. He spends so much time in the basement, I just assumed he was there, but…” 

 

“I’m sorry.” Jenna embraced my mother in a comforting hug. “I haven’t seen him since he was here last Friday. I would’ve tried to text him more, but my dog ran away that day.” She looked back at me in the cage. I gulped. 

 

“That’s okay. I just… I just saw his car parked a few blocks away and hoped he’d be here.”

 

“What?” Jenna’s shock was palpable.  

 

“Excuse me.” An older woman with salt and pepper hair approached the door. “I don’t mean to interrupt, but I think I might’ve found your missing dog.” 

 

“Sorry, but I think you’ve got the wrong house.” Jenna released my mother from her embrace. “My dog came home a few days ago.” 

 

“Are you sure?” The woman gently yanked a dog out from behind her. It was Max, unmistakably. His fur had grown quicker than I expected. Still, his fur was significantly shorter than mine, albeit utterly recognizable. 

 

“He looks just like the picture.” The woman held out Jenna’s flier.

 

“You’re right,” Jenna said with a shocked expression. 

 

Max ran over to her, licking at her thighs. He then flopped over, looking up expectantly at Jenna. 

 

Jenna looked between Brad’s bitten hand, my mother, and Max. Finally, she slowly turned to regard me in the cage. 

 

A blood-curdling scream escaped her, a scream filled with horrific recognition.

 

She wasn’t just looking through me this time. 

 

She finally saw me.